Random unproofread thoughts for the night.

I’m feeling a bit bummed this week and I’m not sure why exactly. I think it could be the customers I have to deal with all the time at work, the stress of the customers is compounded by the fucking moronic third party agents that my company insists on using despite them being technologically inept. I think I’m struggling with the passing of my grandad more than I thought I would as well. 

After my dad’s bday I talked to my mom about missing him and how it wasn’t the same without him there, I was crying the entire drive home hoping no-one in the car would mention it. I’m really interested in cosmology and recently I feel like I’ve been able to get a better understanding of just how deep deep time is. People throw around words like million and billion all the time but when you think about everything in context, whats 85 years on the cosmic time scale? Its nothing. 

I was talking to charlie the other day about the afterlife, we disagree on what happens after death, she’s of the opinion that there’s some form of consciousness that remains after death and me, well, I don’t think anything really changes. There will come a point where my body will break down enough for me to loose consciousness permanently, but death is a process, not an event. I don’t think its like a light switch where one moment you’re here, the next your in the biblical equivalent of the cloud city in Bespin. 

What makes me me will always be here, just because my body breaks down doesn’t mean that the matter that makes me changes or goes anywhere. My body will break down and will just get absorbed by other organic material. 

Lots of people have religious experiences and feel like theres life after death, but that just seems so unreasonable to me. Why are all these experiences culturally contextual? If someone died in 1302 BCE, does their spirit live on in some way? Does someone from 800 BCE find themselves in hades or elysium? Does ever common ancestor that we share live for ever?

I’m not even going to proof read this, consider this post a shotgun blast of crap thats on my mind fired directly into my blog.